Can't....stop......laughing..........

She may not be news to you, but she's new to me

This is Amy Rigby. She's an AMAZING singer/songwriter that I currently have a mad girl crush on. She's oh-so-talented and beautifully cynical. I don't know why I have never run across her music until a few months ago, but now I can't get enough. Her song "Are We Ever Gonna Have Sex Again?" is a sassy, truthful look at domesticated bliss. I couldn't find a YouTube video, so you will have to settle for just the audio - here. Just click the arrow on the player on the right hand side of the screen. Enjoy! And if you get hooked like me, don't say I didn't warn you.

He's gonna lose his job at Shotz Brewery

Eddie Mekka, Shirley's main squeeze Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa from the 70's sitcom Laverne and Shirley was busted for a DUI last weekend in Las Vegas. Nice mug shot, Carmine. You look like a pedophile.

Perhaps he was hanging out with Joyce DeWitt, joy riding and guzzling down 40 ouncers while blasting Boom Boom Pow. I know it seems unlikely, but I paint quite a picture, don't I?

So Shirl - this is your night in shining armor? And remember how he was always singing the line "you know I'd go from rags to riches"? I never knew the rest of that song was about a failed field sobriety test.

Look away, Boo Boo Kitty, look away.

You can read the whole story on TMZ.

I ran to Minneapolis where it's cold, I figured I'd keep better

The Rhoda head-scarf totally needs to make a comeback. It's perfect. It's colorful. It's funky. And if you're having a bad hair day, it's your best friend. Come on, ladies! Let's do it!

Closing time at the Regal Beagle

Joyce Dewitt, who played Janet on Three's Company went an got herself a DUI on the 4th of July. You can't beat a great mug shot, and Joyce has delivered. She was arrested for being under the influence of alcohol, but looking at this picture I would suspect crack or meth. Geez - she looks like she's seriously tweekin.

I hope Jack or Chrissy or Larry were able to bail her out, because those cheap-asses the Roper's will let ya rot.

You can read more about Joyce's holiday follies here.

The show must go on (freak or otherwise)

Well, the Michael Jackson freak train has officially come to a halt. I really don't want to go over and rehash what has been hashed and hashed again, except to say, shame on you Jacksons. Every last one of them is messed up thanks to Joe Jackson's endless pursuit of the spotlight for his children. It's the one piece of parenting that Micheal Jackson did well - and at just about every turn (not counting some bizarre baby dangling) Micheal kept those kids well out of the spotlight. He made sure they sported masks and wore blankets (hence the child nicknamed "Blanket") over their heads to protect their anonymity.

So what's the first thing that clan of freaks does the minute they get their hands on MJ's kids? This...



Exploiting the sorrow of an 11 year old who just lost the only parent she's ever known? Shame on them. Seriously.

It's not a sham. Wow.

I've never really given Billy Mays (the OxyClean pitchman) any thought other than to wonder "why is he yelling?" But word of his death this weekend was sadder than I expected. Probably because I never wondered if the guy was married (he was) or if he had kids (he had two, a son in his 20's and a daughter who is a toddler).

Then there were interviews with people who knew him personally; every one of them talking about what a gentile and kind man he was. I was kind of touched by their love of their friend.

It's not like I'm an asshole ALL the time. It's just Billy Mays was someone I never gave a whole lot of thought to until he was gone. I didn't even realize that he had a reality show on the Discovery Channel called "Pitchmen".

So, I guess I will say goodbye to waking up on the couch in the middle of the night to hear Billy's fast-and-furious sales pitches, replete with blood stains galore and wood floors that look like they have hosted a thousand barn dances. In a strange way, I will miss that.

But what I really hope and pray is that Billy's passing won't be like Hercules fighting the hydra. I can't stand there being one of these fucking ShamWow dip shits in the world, let alone a multitude.

Vince Offer, Vince Shlomi.....whatever your name is - you're no Billy Mays. You never will be. You're destined to just be a gigantic annoying tool who beats up women.