Hot town! Summer in the city...

First I must preface this post. I hate sweating. Always have, always will. This is probably why I am not a professional athlete. Or the owner of a sauna.

So, it's been unseasonably cool in Chicago so far this summer. I'm sick and tired of hearing people complain about it. "Where's the summer?" they moan. "This is JUNE?" they whine. I keep my mouth shut but the fact of the matter is, I like it like this. It's been in the high sixties and low seventies and its warm enough not to have to wear a jacket, but cool enough that my hair doesn't fall into limp, sickly little strands the second I go outside.

Yesterday all the weather complainers were quiet. It warmed up into the high 80's here in the city (thank you Lake Michigan) and hit 90 in the suburbs. I was supremely unhappy. Walking up the stairs to the Metra platform, I could feel the temperature rising with each step I took. Where I enter the station is cool and air conditioned. Once you head up to the platform (which is covered, but basically outside) it's all over. And you can only imagine what the throngs of other commuters smell like. It's vile.

Today promises to be worse. Today's going to be swamp-ass hot. They are predicting a high of 90 again, but it rained last night, and there's a nice cloud cover dialing the humidity up to 100. The train ride into the city wasn't so bad. It's still relatively cool out. But tonight - ugh - I am dreading the train ride home. Days like today produce a noxious smell that can only be described as a melange of nasty armpits, ass, and sweaty scalp.

Here's your summer, folks. You asked for it. Heck, you begged for it. Personally, I know at some point I will be sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News. Yeah, it's not pretty, especially with my hair all limp and plastered to my face. But enjoy it nonetheless, swamp-ass and batwings be damned.