So goes life, so goes the truck

I saw this on The People of Wal-Mart. Classic.

I Guess Mommy Got The Truck

Punk'd

I think everyone has been to a wedding where as the best man gives his toast to the newly married couple, hijinks ensue. When my friend Val got married in the 1980's, the best man punked the groom by telling a story about how the groom had borrowed the best man's keys to his apartment and wanted them back. As the story unraveled, supposedly the groom had copied the keys and given them to a young lady. With that, 30 or so women all got up to "return" the copied key. The last lady had to be at least 80 years old.

Now, it's much easier to punk the groom, especially if you have mad Photoshop skills. Check out the video below. It's the video montage that played at a couple's wedding, created by one of the groomsmen at the request of the groom. The only instruction given to the groomsman was to make the video "different" - the groom said he didn't even want to review it first.

So this is what Ben and Joanna got from their friend, Adam. I take it Joanna has a good sense of humor. If this happened on Bridezillas, there would have been blood.

Best Wedding Slideshow Ever from Olde English Comedy on Vimeo.

Oh look, a giant loser

I don't know how I missed this one, but this selfish douche cheated on his wife and this is what she made him do to repent. I have a feeling it won't be the last uncomfortable humiliation he will experience at her hand. You can see the article here. Personally, I hope his privates wither up and fall off, yet he walks around for the rest of his life with a phantom boner that he can never, ever satisfy.

A case of anal warts would be good, too.

The candy man cometh

If you are in the area of Michigan Avenue between Illinois and Wacker Drive tomorrow, stop by Pioneer Plaza (in front of 401 Michigan Avenue). Mars Snackfood, the makers of M & M's, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, Dove and 3 Musketeers will be giving away free samples of its candies. Why, you ask? It seems that Mars did a survey to find out which American city is in need of a little chocolate joy, and Chicago won.

And if you like NASCAR, get your sugar fix and racing fix at the same time because Kyle Bush will be handing out the sweet samples.

Yummy!

UPDATE: The bags of candy that my coworkers got yesterday from the Mars giveaway were obscene! I assumed that they would be handing out mini candy bars and just a few to each person. So wrong! They were passing out full size candy bars, and the folks passing it out were just loading up people's bags. Seriously, some people were walking away with two big plastic bags full of candy. I guess they're set for Halloween.

Unfortunately, I did not get over there to witness it. Being glucosely challenged (yes, I do realize that glucosely isn't really a word), I figured I'd stay here and work as opposed to a trip to Northwestern in a sugar coma.

Word of the day! vol. 2

Calumnious - ca·lum·ni·ous adj.

Containing or implying calumny; slanderous or defamatory. Used of statements harmful and often untrue; tending to discredit or malign.


Use it in a sentence, today!

Stuck in 1985

I have had a song stuck in my head since yesterday. It got there while I was walking through Walgreens and heard it on the piped in music. First of all, how sad is it when songs of your youth wind up as Walgreens white noise? Or you stumble across one on the oldies channel? It's that slap in the face that says "Hey dummy! Yes...you ARE middle aged". I'm not bothered by the fact that I'm 42, because I don't feel like it. But then I watched the video below (for the aforementioned stuck song)and just thought....HOLY CRAP. People used to look like this a long, long time ago. 24 years ago to be exact. Geritol, anyone?

So enjoy the trip down memory lane. If the song gets stuck in your head too, don't blame me. Its 1980's hooky goodness is to blame.

(Love the side ponytail, by the way.)

Bad day

This guy is having a really bad day.